you're willing to hear me what your biggest problem is you think you shouldn't have them problems are what make us grow problems are what sculpt our soul problems are what make us become more if we can realize that life is always happening for us not to us game over all the pain of suffering disappears there a problem is your gift people want to find an ending there isn't an ending you're never gonna be truly happy you're never gonna be truly sad if you just continue that's just light you get a journey you get one ride at this thing and then when it's over it's over it's the moment you think you have security the moment you get complacent is the moment you've done I think it's important people write down their goals because otherwise they'll just find themself from the rat race continue entertaining how to achieve success in every area of your life you have to develop the habits of highly successful and hardworking people successful people understand that they must work in a straight line to get from where they are to where they want to go without diversion or distraction if you want to accomplish your goals you must be sure that everything you do is taking you in that direction and then they develop good habits to get you there [Music] we all have a habit of hesitating we have an idea if you're sitting in a meeting you have this incredible idea and instead of just you know saying it you stop and you hesitate now what none of us realize is that when you hesitate just that moment that micro moment that's small hesitation it sends a stress signal to your brain it is easy to be motivated to succeed in the beginning of an endeavor and when you are close to the end the most difficult part and the part where people quit is when they are in the thick of it and it is unclear whether they have the strength and stamina to make it the rest of the way like doing the things that are tough for difficult or in certain or scary or no so I need to stop weaving until I feel like it whatever you focus on you'll feel even if it's not truly it's a decision is shaped destiny it's not our conditions it's our decision about what to focus on what what the meaning is and what we're going to do but we books in a very small font of life so whatever you focus on is here [Music] you don't just get a result without some kind of action without some form of ritual ritual meaning actions you do consistently now do you think you know those people that are out there working out five days a week do they have more time than you do or I have for anybody else of course no is there a wife less busy of course not it's just a must for them they must work out that way and they've made that turn their life change but take these huge challenges you got break them down into little bite-sized steps little things you do each day that after you do them you get so much momentum that it's easy to succeed you're not overwhelmed you have these victory day after day after day on little things you literally just condition your body and emotion with a couple little rituals so it doesn't matter what's going on in your world you feel that strength and it's not fake it's not some pump up it's coming from inside you and it works rituals define us see all the results in your life are coming from your rituals they start with a standard and then at rituals that follow it up success and failure are not giant events they don't just show up you don't just suddenly become successful or suddenly have this cataclysmic event that makes you fail they look that way but failure comes from all the little things its failure to make the call its failure to check the books its failure to say I'm sorry if failure to push yourself to do things physically that you don't want to do and all those little failures day after day come together to one day some Cataclysm if that happens you blame that that a bit happen because you missed all the little stuff and success by the way is not some overnight event it's all these little things success is having a vision success is making it compelling success is really seeing it feeling it everything strong enough reasons success he is feeling the sense that I'm here to grow I'm here to give something to the world more than just myself success is caring about other people success is calling and saying I love you in the middle of day for no damn reason you need to have some rituals and cool things you do that nobody else does they give you a better life than anybody else house all the little stuff that's where success comes from you just have a vision and you don't have the rituals stop lying to yourself what's been your biggest accomplishment you think bouncing back number one is refusing to listen to the negative chatter my own head refusing to listen to other people's perception of me creating something from absolutely nothing so I got a you know there's the books there's the TV there's all that stuff but my biggest accomplishment is being willing to give myself a thousand second chances and every time I got to 999 I press reset yeah I didn't ask permission I gave notice at some point I have to stop asking cannot be great can I be brilliant can I be okay and still be accepted I just stopped asking permission and just gave notice unapologetically and not in a braggadocious way not in a way that shrunk anyone else in a way that said I only got one life and i'ma ride this one to the wheels fall off and then all the other stuff came well as a result of a decision I made right but it was a decision it was a decision but it was and it didn't come from you know a motivational experience it didn't come from an inspiring teacher it came from hitting rock bottom okay okay let's talk about that because this was the same that when you and I were talking that really struck me because I had been there yeah and I just wanted to hear how you had turned it around because you can be rock bottom and turn it around that's the best turn around cuz at rock bottom hill ain't know all the way to go you got to go up so that's a great time you climbed to the top tell everybody about this journey I struggled off this school the last time I took English class I got to fail and my English teacher said I was the weakest writer she ever met in her entire life the last time I took a speech class same here I got a d-minus and speech and my speech too should say at least a quote unquote I recommend you never speak in public that you get a desk job so that was the beginning of my life that was the that was my 19 year old experience and then I go on and I'm trying to figure it out trying to figure it out I was obedient I went and got a job in accounting I was in the collection department for seven years y'all don't know I'm dangerous to accounting I'm down just dangerous and I'm in collections and you know you should never put a broke person in collection never because everybody's reasons sound good to me can I say girl don't you worry about payin I'm gonna take your name off the list because I was thinking I got fired from five different jobs and then I got pregnant with my son unexpectedly and then at eight months my son's father went to prison I have to get on government assistance to have my baby I was on WIC women infants children to feed my child then when my son was eight months old I went to the ATM to get $20 out the bank because I didn't have any pampers for him and in order to get $20 out she got that $20 in I had $11 in 42 cents and I still can't tell the store without getting emotional cuz it's my story for two days I had to wrap my son in a towel but something happened Steve in those two days I was at rock bottom I was broke and I was broken Inglewood California my son laying on his back at eight months I have a towel over him and I have my hand on his stomach fan don't you worry jeylani mommy will never be this broke again and I made a decision I was bankrupt and every stinkin thinking I had I was bankrupt and trying to protect my pride I was bankrupt and trying to be all that in a bag of chips and a bowl of grits falsified I was bankrupt and trying to not ask anyone for help I was bankrupt in everything that was holding me and keeping me where I was I've always thought a good game but I wasn't doing anything with my gift and all that thing about potential I was tired of having potential I wanted to have and I looked at that baby at eight months and I said I want to transform your life cuz you didn't ask to come into this chaos as an african-american male child in South Central Los Angeles with a single mother whose fathers in prison he had a 66% chance of going to prison himself not on my watch not on my watch so if I have to be willing to drastically transform myself so that I can become the woman that I know I can be right and that's what I began to do I was radical what did you do Lisa what what did you do to change your life first I realize I couldn't grow with people who were struggling like me that whole I don't want to leave nobody behind you know I don't want to stay with y'all right be the queen of this block yeah and I became okay what the fact that it doesn't make me any less committed to my community committed to my culture committed to my family the best thing I can do for you is not stay here with you that's right when I got that I went to places I've never seen before I went to conferences where people talk about money talking about prosperity yeah talking about it was like no habla espanol what's your tongue though ro eyes and PPM's and term agreements and capital fundraising and bottom lines and what is it now i'ma stay until I learn what you're talkin about I went to the same conference 42 times and there I raised five hundred and thirty-two thousand dollars in capital for my company's start my dream and my dream was to transform teen lives I want to teach teens how to fall madly in love with themselves and how to make integrity based decisions and I got it funded and I started working and that was the beginning of me rescuing myself I realized that I am my rescue no one else is my rescue anybody could dream it but you'll never see it until you're willing to be committed to it I was telling somebody the other day when I didn't have anything Church didn't have any members I'd get off work working at carbide and drive up the road and working on the church till I had to turn around and go back to work we worked when we didn't have food we worked when we didn't have lights I was putting my home check in offering all of it trying to keep it going when I finally got some stats I went on the road preaching and whatever I made on the road preaching I brought it home to make the payroll of the status and sometimes I got them paid and couldn't pay me commitments look like a fool didn't have any clothes suits was falling off me line and wore out my clothes couldn't send him to the cleaners had to wash my suit in the washing machine they laughed at me look like old raggedy country preacher I had holes in my shoes I couldn't kneel down and pray because if I knelt down to pray they would see holes in my shoes they laughed at me they said that boys lost his mind he'll never be nothing he stutters he's got a list ready speech he'll never be a preacher I don't care what if I think I cannot do it I already canceled it you know some really crazy things you know I believe I can do it I already do it like was like to move the building Joe crashed by the hovercraft jump of the light 72 feet high with no net there's so many things so many things even even today I look at the old film look at myself sometimes really smile I'm glad even I know I get hurt I broke my angle I'm so happy I did it if today I cannot do it anymore yeah I'm so whenever you want to do whatever you always tell the students whatever they do do the when you young do it you might get hurt or you learning a piano you're learning about masha'allah between between ten or twenty ten years learn whatever you can those here like me I just do ten years later now forever the things you learn or their the the success I have forever don't regret one day ah I should do it right now I should have no it's too late do it when you were young three rules pretty much that I stuck with practically all the time I'd learned these prior to coming to UCLA and I decided they were very important one was never be late never be late later on I had I said certain things that I had the players if we're leaving for someone they had to be neat and clean there was a time when I I made them wear jackets and shirts and ties but and then I saw our Chancellor coming to school and longer denims and and turtlenecks and I thought a little not right for me to keep this other so I let him just add to be neat and clean and I had one of my one of my greatest players that you probably heard of Bill Walton he came and gets the bus who were leaving for somewhere and play and he wasn't clean neat so I I would let him go he couldn't get on the bus he had to go home and and get cleaned up to get to the airport to forget so I was a stickler for that I believed in that I believe in time very important I believe you should be on time and I felt a practice for example we start on time we close on time the officers didn't have to feel that we're going to keep them over when I speak of coaching clinics I often tell young coaches in the coaching places more than more less they'll be the younger coaches getting in and the profession that and most of them are young you know and they're probably newly married and I tell them don't run practices late because you'll go home in a bad mood and then that's not good for a young married man to go home in a bad mood when you get older when you get older not make any difference but there [Music] so I did believe on time I believe starting on time not believe closing on time and another one I had was not one or two profanity one or two profanity and you you they're out of her for the day if I see it in a game you can't come out and sit on the bench and the third one was never criticize a teammate I I didn't want that I used to tell him I was paid to do that that's my job I'm paid to do it pitifully poor but I am painted up not like the coaches today for gracious sakes know they're in there it's a little different than there was in my day but no was the three things that I stuck with pretty closely all the time and those actually came from my dad and that's what he tried to teach to me and my brothers at one time you are responsible for your life I've known this I've known this since the color purple in 1985 I probably told you the story when I did the color purple but in 1985 I did the color purple prior to that I had read the book Larry this is a this is when I stopped the secret thing but I didn't know it was called a secret I read the book the color purple and then went out and got books for everybody else I knew and I was obsessed about this story obsessed about it I ate slept thought all the time about the color purple I moved to Chicago I get a call from a casting agent asking what I like to come an audition for a movie I've never gotten a call in my life from anybody for a movie or anything like that and I say is it the color purple and he says no it's a movie called moonsong and I go well I've been praying for the color purple and I go to the audition and of course it was the color purple I audition I don't hear anything for months and I go to this this fat farm and I think it's because I'm fat because I was about 212 pounds at the time and I think I didn't get the call back because I'm so fat and I'm at this fat farm and I'm praying and crying saying to God help me let this go because I wanted to be in this movie so much I wanted that I wanted I wanted it I thought I was gonna be in the movie there's all these signs that I should be in the movie and I go to this fat farm and I'm praying and crying and as I'm on the track singing the song I surrender all I surrender all all to thee my blessed Savior I surrender all I'm singing that song praying and crying a woman comes out to me and she says on the track it's raining and she says there's a phone call for you and the phone call was Steven Spielberg saying I want to see you in my office in California tomorrow now what I learned from that that moment absolutely changed my life forever because I had drawn the color purple into my life I didn't know Steven Spielberg I didn't know Quincy Jones who saw me in Chicago in 1984 he was he was there for a lawsuit that was being filed against Michael Jackson cuz he'd been working on his Thriller album and he saw me on am Chicago and said that's Sophia now I didn't know him I didn't know anybody that I had anything to do with that but I knew that I had drawn that into my life and it changed the way I thought about my life forever to get the son-in-law Missy you keep on advising him like you're doing it is very true that the way you think creates reality for yourself there are other factors going on so it's not everything but you really can't change your own reality based on the way that you think yeah I'm graduated college and I have you know just degree in fine arts and my dad saw me coming and going to work every day and he was like what are you doing and I was like making a living what are you talking about and I was in a transitional period because my son and father and I we had just broken up and I had this degree and I was just living and my dad saw it he was like how do you expect to catch fish on dry land and I was like he always spoke in metaphors because it can you just speak plain English she was like how are you gonna get acting jobs when they're not here you need to go to LA where the jobs are so my family threw a party we were broke they raised $700 and I moved to LA and I took my son and my dad may rest in peace he was like maybe you should leave Marcell here and I was like I'm not leaving my son it's my kid then I got out and freaked out I said maybe I should send them back and my dad was like no that's your blessing he's your blessing he's gonna keep you focused you were right your instinct was right you should have taken them so $700 my son is now 21 he's in school now is a good right and look at me [Applause] [Music]
Are You Finally Ready for Success & Abundance?
transformational change
